As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.”The two sat sipping in silence. A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked: “Are you a real pilot?”He replied, “I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a lesbian.”Forwarded compliments of John A. By Jeff Foxworthy:If plastic water bottles are okay, but plastic bags are banned, — you might live in a nation (state) that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.WE DO LIVE IN SUCH A DUMB COUNTRY!!If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for entering and remaining in the country illegally — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.If you have to get your parents’ permission to go on a field trip or to take an aspirin in school, but not to get an abortion — you might. A Dry Waller working on the parents master bathroom,…I though next time he comes outside to chain-smoke I'm gonna go across the street and say something … but what ?!! Eventually i went over asking about my friends whereabouts,he told me the family was at the beach for the weekend! I lingered around and he would ask me to hand him a hammer or a drill this and that cigarette clenched in his lips under that thick dark mustache. I stared at his mouth watching him pull and blow out the thick intoxicating smoke. My eyes slowly wandered down his amazing brawny chest and arms to his stomach and eventually stopped, stuck, lost, found , staring at his bulging crotch …is it growing getting bigger right before my eyes … watching his hand hold the cigarette down by his crotch, i was mesmerized, the smoke curled and spiraled around his growing bulge and … "HEY!" "What are you looking at?" Stunned i said nothing my wide eyes tried to speak to answer but nothing came out until he grabbed and.
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