" I wish we had done this after rehearsal. I wish it were my hands onyour cock right now. Stroking you. Or my lips ... sucking you." Iclose my eyes and keep masturbating thinking of him thinking of me.Thinking of having Ellen's body: her curvaceous hips, her roundbackside, her large, soft breasts. Thinking of the beautiful face I'veworn and seen reflected back at me so many times. Thinking of all themen who've wanted to fuck me. Thinking of Scott's cock, stiff andthrobbing for the woman I can become."I want you Ellen. I want you so badly," he says. "Oh fuck." That's right, cum for me ... darling," I say, my own cock spasmingand spurting. I twitch and the fake pussy falls off me and onto thebed.We breathe together on the phone for a second, panting like sprintersafter a race."Wow," I say. "I haven't done that for a while." I try to make myvoice light and carefree. What the fuck have I just done?"I can come over, we can do it together," he says, still controllinghis breathing."I really. I wasn’t making a saint out of him and revering the neighborhood he grew up in. But it really got to me that this was his neighborhood and his neighbors would want to know about him.I quickened my steps back to the Swedish American Center, took my knäckebröd firmly in hand, and walked in.Black coffeeIt took a few minutes before anyone realized I was there. There was activity everywhere. Guys were playing cards in one corner. Women were playing board games with children in another corner. The TV was blaring. It was getting dark out and inside it was like watching a huge family gathered together on a winter’s evening. I could see a few older people, men and women, in the kitchen preparing who-knew-what delicacy for the table tonight. After spending a few minutes invisibly standing near the door, I decided to start with the men at the card table.“Excuse me,” I said as I approached.“Shh, shh,” one said without looking at me. He raised a finger to me while another led a card, each played.
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