It’s like it was with Melanie. It’s different. Even when you might be gentle and loving with Melanie, it was, in the end, just fucking.”She was right. Perhaps I was on the right path. All I could do was press on.“I told you I didn’t make love with Becky. And I won’t. I’m going to have a similar conversation with her tomorrow. I’ll tell her that we need to take things slower. I’ve hardly kissed her, even.”“Really? You know, I never asked because I didn’t really want to know.”“Really. I have not touched her beyond hugs and kisses. Not for lack of opportunity. Not from lack of her trying. But from my own willpower, stupid as it may appear to every other guy. I think I might get drummed out of the guy club. That said, I’ve managed to earn Mr. van Hoek’s complete respect.”That still amazed me. But I had more to say.“Think about that one from his perspective. This fourteen-year-old boy has two chances, well, two he knows of because he doesn’t know about the first strip chess game, to take. Here was a dilemma, do I leave it for the girl to find if she came back or possibly library staff find it and guess what was happening or do I pocket it and the girl lose a bra. I stuffed it in my pocket and went to the reading desk to collect my things.When I got home I told Jean I had brought her a present and explained how I had found the bra. She laughed and said I knew full well she was never a 34A, and listed some of the places where I had groped and sucked her tits when she was 17. She evidently had a much better memory than me as I couldn’t remember any of the locations; I wish she would share some of her memories more often. I told her the main thing I remember of that time was the months I tried to get my hands in her knickers and she always pushed me away. One day I met her from school and as her parents were at work we went to her room and lay on her single bed. After kissing for a while I put my hand up her short skirt and found I was at the gusset of her knickers..
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