Come with me and you'll get a lesson in personal hygiene."What followed was an hour of gross information, and testing as mom made medo everything, including inserting a tampon, making sure that I knew whatto do and when. Like I said, gross. I had no idea that girls went throughall of that, all of the time! But inserting that tampon made it positivelya sure thing that a guy could... well, use me. Like a girl. I was bothdelighted and repulsed at the same time. I had no idea that being a girlwould be so much fun, and so much of a pain in the ass at the same time.The next day, using the sizes mom had determined that I wore, she and Ibought a few bras, some panties, shoes and earrings. For the rest we wentto a thrift store and got some dresses, skirts and blouses, belts andassorted tops. Then she took me to get a new drivers license. Once I hadthat, the state confirmed that I was a real girl!"I'll check, but I think you can work in our office. You'll need a greatdeal of things, and I. They retired to the backyard where more of their friends were sitting on the patio, swapping stories and drinking beer. Well, all but one of them was; Lauren's pregnancy was quite visible, and Brad was playing the gallant husband and monitoring her alcohol intake. Lauren looked half pleased and half annoyed.Crystal, who had no such problems ahead of her, was well on her way to being sloshed. "Lost the coin flip?" Sam asked Jason, and Jason gave a morose nod. Both he and his wife had undergone sterility procedures when they married--"tying the knot and tying the tubes," as they put it--having already made the decision that they would make awful parents, too likely to drink themselves to an early grave. Sam gave them points for not lying to themselves, but in the end, he thought they'd made the right choice—parents should be able to shoulder more responsibility than the bother of flipping a coin to determine which of them would be the designated driver that evening."Ah, the lovebugs,".
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