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But I soon figured out that Grandma Dawson was taking him around to each table for the campaign. One of Duke’s favorite tricks was ‘shake.’ We had him sit and then ask him to shake, and he would lift his paw up to shake hands.Duke proved what a pro he was at campaigning when he got to our table, stood up on Carol’s high chair, and licked her face. All politicians needed to kiss babies. It might be better with a little less tongue.“How did he do on the campaign trail?” I asked.“Kurt said he didn’t ever want to run against Duke. Everyone wanted to meet the dog running for mayor, and the governor was an afterthought. Kurt said that Duke is his Beyoncé.”“That would make you Jay Z,” I speculated.“Whoever that is,” Grandma Dawson said. “How did flying go?”Grandmas know how to make their grandchildren happy. I spent the next twenty minutes telling her all about my adventure today.Tuesday November 8Today was the big day. Brook and I found ourselves outside the VFW hall where our voter. . Would you like to tell us what brings you to our dirty little show?”Heather stands at ease and fills us in on her back-story, “Well ... There’s all this stuff about women in the military ... About how you put young women with young men, and all they’re going to want to do is fuck, like ... And, well, that’s not what I’m like, but it’s what I find all the time. The lads here, they just want to fuck. They want a threesome or a gang-bang, and I’m not into that ... And the women are just as bad, they figure that because they’re a lesbo, all the other girls in the unit must be lesbos too ... And I’m not ... And we wuz in the barracks and someone was trying it on, and I just said I’d rather fuck a dog ... And I didn’t really mean I wanted to fuck a dog, I just meant I didn’t want to fuck another squaddie ... And that’s how it started, and then it was just lads asking if I’d fucked a dog yet ... When was I going to do it ... Calling me Wannabe Dogfucker and Zoogirl ... And after a while I.
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