However after sex, they always dress on their own.Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.SIMPLE TRUTH #2When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say, "Congrats".But, none of them come and touch the man's penis and say, "Good job".Moral of the story: "Hard work is never appreciated."the Five Rules to Remember in Life1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the ass-hole's name.3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.AND A BONUS RULE:6. Condoms do not guarantee safe sex;A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband!This one is compliments of johnRamblings of a Retired MindI found this timely, because today I was in a store that sells. "How can I look great? It's so dark you can barely see me." I bent my arm and looked at him with my head resting on my hand. "I think you are just saying that because you like being in coach with a nearly naked women."I think he wanted to say something, but all he did was swallow. I reached out and played with his hair a little. "Like what? sleeping?" No, going to someone's room, being in their bed, being with a woman." Really?" I sounded more amazed that was polite, and I'm sure he was blushing."Um really, no" He definitely sounded embarrassed. Guys will almost never admit they are virgins, but the thought of being his first was starting to get me excited. I ran my hand down his arm."No girlfriends back home or anything?" I went out with this one girl for a while. We kissed a few times." I pulled his hand over to me and kissed it, and slid my leg forward so it was touching his knee. He did not move at all, and his breathing was getting faster. I'm sure he could not see my huge grin.
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