I suddenly found myself on the Packer sideline in more pain than I thought imaginable. I tried to get up, to get back to my huddle, but I couldn't."You just lay still, old buddy," a voice said.I looked up into the face of the Packers venerable quarterback. When you make of list of the top 50 players to ever lace up cleats, he's at or near the top. But when you make a list of the top 50 people to ever lace up cleats, there's a good bet he's even higher. He was retiring at season's end. I had hoped to make today his swansong and the Cardinals were doing a pretty good job of it."My coaches radioed upstairs," he said, his hand on my shoulder pad. "Your folks are on the way over. Our trainers are right here, too. But you just lay still."His soft Southern drawl was soothing. It reminded me of Ellie's. It calmed me just like hers had.The television showed Coach Blades standing confounded on the sideline. He was looking around for me like maybe I thought we were punting on first down, or. .. if the damn hospital would quit shaving it ... sanitary reasons ... babe, was leaving. And I have to assume they used the same Health Department regulations to smooth out her red beard ... sanitary.But she went home ... Windows 95 was released ... and I was really busy studying the manuals while I was waiting on my face ... and dick ... to heal enough to stop scaring babies, small children and the blind.I got out of the hospital February 14, 1996 ... the day Microsoft released Service Pac 1.I looked like a million bucks ... I should ... the company insurance spent that much and more making sure I was functional. The plastics doc kept his promise, but I felt like the dog my dad used to sing about.Where, oh where, has my little dog gone?Where, oh where, can he be?With his ears cut short, and his tail cut long,Oh bring back my doggie to me.About my dad singing? Gravel in a tin can.Mom was the one with perfect pitch ... flat.Six months getting my face rehabilitated had left me with a.
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