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She bounced happily out of the kitchen and started pointing things out in answer. She started to explain everything. This was clearly her garden, her sanctuary, her love. She led me all around the garden talking the whole time, excited the whole time. And I actually found it fascinating! Everything was hardy and she gushed about how easy it all was but it really looked like she lived out in the garden, lived for the garden, and spent all her time tweaking and weeding and pruning.The tour was interrupted by Darren yelling “we’re home” from the back door. He didn’t come out. Sally turned to me “sorry about Darren. He’s a bit ... overactive underachieving if you know what I mean” she looked aside embarrassed like it was somehow her fault. “He’s not allowed in my garden obviously” she said quietly as though that needed no explanation.Straightening up and taking charge Sally beckoned “Simon, you can go out this way”, waving towards the path up the side. Simon and Darren said gruff. It's only one day to my hearing now. I don't haveany plans. I suppose I can't really make any. It all depends ontomorrow. But what does my life look like beyond being deregistered?What do I do? Do I head to Centrelink?I think I just have to do what Caitlin says. Head back up to Sydney andtake her job. Maybe I can do some on-line courses or something. Find anew career.I couldn't totally discount reigniting my passion for research. WellAnthony's passion I suppose if we were to be pedantic about it.But am I really so different now?I don't know whether I should be downplaying and de-emphasising anysupposed disparity or heightening it. It's probably immaterial,especially now, but I had always tried a little to tether myself toaspects of the former me. 'That's such an Anthony thing to do' I mighthave said to myself from time to time. Often it wasn't specificallytrue, but it served my psyche well to say it. I just couldn't andprobably shouldn't say that anymore.I would take the research job.
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