I’ve no time! But later maybe…” I giggle as I feel the familiar disturbance in my panties.Plonking myself down in front of the mirror, wrapped in a massive towel, the same familiar face looks back, “There’s not much femininity staring back there hon,” I say to myself for the umpteenth time. After spending literally weeks in front of YouTube tutorials, armed with foundation, concealer, primer, powder and the other essentials of the makeup arsenal, I have finally worked out a routine that produces a reasonable transformation. Yes, I know, the hordes of the politically correct will stamp their collective feet and proclaim that ‘femininity’ is a social construct and burn those razors(!) - but I say, well, nuts. My eyes need all the help they can get, thank you!But it is a fact that we are a product of where we live and how we were raised; for me looking fem means being reasonably pretty, dressing in sexy lingerie, wearing flattering clothes and teetering on silly heels. Shoot me.The. And then, intuitively, again nothing: suddenly withdrawn, mouth an inch from yours, a heavily shaking breath, a gentle, tender kiss to your shoulder, or your cheek — protectively. Carefully. As if you’re something precious, as if he knows that he’s consuming you with his passion — as if he knows that you’re losing yourself in him. In the blue depths of his eyes, mixed with intensity and longing and — deeper — unrestrained wildness, barely concealed now, are flickers of hurt, of past sadness not quite forgotten. Closer to the surface now, usually in check — but there, more visible. Raw. His sudden vulnerability draws you in further: you know the same expression is echoed in your eyes, the distant acknowledgement of the last time you felt anything akin to this — except it wasn’t quite this. You glance momentarily at each other, directly — a transitory recognition of blazing emotion, carefully concealed by both of you beneath the surface, that will stay etched within you, no matter how.
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