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.." I turned away."Felicity?" Kathy turned her attention to Sis."You don't think the BOYS thought that up, do you? They recognized a good idea when they heard it, but Trini came up with it," Sis replied. Outed, I smiled, embarrassed.Kathy eyed me. "I thought you just wanted..." Helping you was always on the agenda," I replied. "Anything else was a bonus. I admit that getting into Gene's pants was on my short list of fringe benefits, but Bernie lowered the boom on me when he figured THAT out!" This would give you what you want," Kathy mused."Hey, I can leave it totally alone..." Not if Gene wants it," Kathy shot back."None of us has that choice," I noted. "In the end, we do what we're told." Yeah. I'm learning that," Kathy agreed."So..." Sis pressed."If Gene thinks it's a good idea, I do, too," Kathy replied.Bernie:So now I had this bright idea to pitch to Gene. Now, granted, I wanted Gene with me at work -- but was I Super Mentor where family matters were concerned? I was certainly. Even the ones you didn't talk with you recognized their faces and they recognized yours. You might see them at the mall or a restaurant or a community event and there would be this moment of recognition and nervousness and fear but everyone would pretend and go about their life.I have always been a pretty shy person. I wouldn't say I lacked confidence so much as I didn't feel the need to stand out. I was happy blending into the crowd. At the park though, I felt safe to take risks. Like you would see a guy sitting in the parking lot or walking round and round in circles and you knew why he was there. He wanted a release. Often he wasn't picky how he got it. I found with many men, it seemed like they were grateful when I did things. In a way it also felt like an escape from my normal life, not that it was horrible, it was simply nice to get away.I feel what I did really depended on how I felt in that moment. If the guy made me comfortable or uneasy. If I felt no one else would be.
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