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If you ever come back here, I will kill you. No matter the consequence, no matter what, I will.’ My voice raised at the end, I leaned forward in my chair. Mike knew me well, he understood. He knew I meant it, I always did exactly what I said I would do. He just walked out through the door, out of my life. I waited for about a half hour for Gerry to come out, she didn’t. So I got up and walked into the bedroom. She was sitting there, sobbing quietly, the covers pulled up tightly around her body. ‘Dan, I am so sorry.’ her tears increased. I was starting to get tired of everybody being so damned sorry. ‘Get up, get dressed.’ I told her. ‘You just look silly sitting there like that.’ ‘What are you going to do?’ Her voice broke, she was still sobbing, like that would fix things or something? ‘I am leaving, I will get a room.’ I said flatly. It struck me as odd but I wasn’t angry, I had no emotion at all. Some things I could forgive, perhaps even a transgression like this. Lord knows it. Trust that if he thought I deserved him ... that maybe I did.I sat up, suddenly wide awake. How had I gotten myself into such a stupid situation? Hadn’t I said – to Zev, to Nate, to Leli ... that they had to let the person they were with decide whether they were worthy? I’d argued with Leli, for heaven’s sake, when she’d used being Orlesian as an excuse not to be with Nate. Told her he got to decide if it was too big a problem for him. And then, not for the first time – it was the Brecilian Forest all over again, when I’d given Leli excuses for avoiding a relationship – I’d used the same, stupid, arrogant reasoning to decide that I didn’t deserve Alistair.I am an idiot.And then I knew what I had to do. I wasn’t going to spend the rest of the night – however many hours were left – alone on the floor of the hallway in our stupid suite when my husband was out there, somewhere, hurting, and I’d done that to him.I jumped up, ran into our little bathroom to find a cloth and wipe my face,.
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