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Your love did. Your sweet, sweet wonderful love."She reached out in my direction. I just could not look at her. I walked over to the window, my back to her. She started sobbing."Bruce? Please?" Her voice was distant. I turned around."Myr, can't you understand what this does to me? Can you just sit there and expect me to listen to how you took our love and sold it in a deal?"She raised both hands. "It wasn't at all like that! It was before we met. And it wasn't me. Don't you see I had no choice? I fought for us, Bruce. For you and me, but I had no choice. I had to give in, but only a few times. I had to or I would have lost control. And I would have lost you forever!"Her voice had gained force. A whine crept into it. Her hands strangled a piece of black garment. I could hardly see her through a haze of emotions. My voice was a mere groan."That isn't all, is it, Myriam? How long did you stay faithful after we married?"She just looked, her eyes spilling tears. She shook her head in. The thought struck Ellen that the dice playing, the drinking, and even that vile expression of animal lust she had experienced last night and undoubtedly would be subjugated to again, were expressions of a deep inner fear that embraced each of the four men. Death was near, it was inescapable, and if they couldn't out-run it, then they could at least blind themselves to its approach. Even Sylvia seemed to be aware of it, and she sat silently drinking alongside Billy, her movements strangely tranquil, almost a mirror image of the gang leader's gestures of quiet desperation. Slowly the silence seemed to break with the growing chatter from the men crouched near the wall, and Ellen sensed that plans for the night were being made again. Occasional furtive glances were shot up towards her seated figure, and she tried to make herself as stiff and unobtrusive looking as possible. She was grateful for the glass of whiskey Billy had poured for her earlier, and now she sipped from it, feeling it.
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