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. Now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation...My people skills are just fine. It’s my tolerance of idiots that needs working on.If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would’ve put them on my knees.The kids text me “plz” which is shorter than please. I text back “no” which is shorter than “yes.”I’m going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I’ll do the second week.Even duct tape can’t fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound!Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just gonna transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.This item is compliments of an Anonymous donor:A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.Three women, an American, a Kiwi and a Australian Woman, were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.The American woman said “Have you ever had a hug?”The man said “No,” so she gave him a hug and walked on.The Kiwi woman said, “Have you ever had. “And cross my fingers behind my back?”“You would never do that!”“Are you SURE about that? For the chance to get what you keep teasing me about? I mean, if it’s as good as you say...”“Mishka!” she squealed. “Now you’re being «некультурный»!”“Me? YOU started it!”“I suppose I did, didn’t I?”“Yes! You even made a point about wanting to tease me. Is this your master plan? To tease me until I can’t resist and lure me into your trap?”“Trap?!” she squealed in outrage. “Trap?!”“Ah, see, now the teasing shoe is on the other foot!”“You!” she growled.“Ooh, I like it when you’re feisty!” I replied.“Stop it, Miskha!” she squealed.“Don’t you want to know what it would feel like? To kiss, and then...”“Stop!” Tasha demanded, interrupting me, but she was laughing. “Perhaps teasing wasn’t the best idea!”“Perhaps not,” I chuckled.We arrived at King’s Island just before it opened and spent the morning riding roller coasters and the afternoon on other rides, as well as taking the monorail through the.
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