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’ He wrapped his arms around me. ‘It has been a lonely five years. I won’t say there hasn’t been other women cause there has. But none of them ever came close to you. I can’t lose you again.’ His arms tightened around me. I kissed him gently then laid my head against his chest. ‘You won’t. I promise. I let you ride out my life once before. I won’t do it again.’ He lifted my chin with his fingers so we were looking into each others eyes. ‘You promise?’ ‘I promise.’ As he kissed me I knew this was one promise I would keep. A few hours later, Robert, Suzanne and Hawk left and John was curled up in my old bed with my teddy bear fast asleep. Mom, Jeff and I were sitting at the dining room table drinking iced tea. ‘I think you broke Hawk’s heart when you said you were gonna stay here.’ Jeff said. I looked over at my stepfather. ‘Yea I know. But like I told him , I just got out of a bad relationship and as much as I love him I can’t just jump into another one.’ Jeff nodded in understanding.. I became her confidante and learned about her relationship in intimate detail. Oh not everything of course, but Jane liked teasing and flirting with me because it made her feel good and I was 'safe'. Their relationship was tempestuous, punctuated with vicious fights and passionate make-up sex, which I began to suspect were half the reason they fought. Eventually the pendulum swings grew too great and they broke up. Finally, I imagined, I'd get my shot with Jane. After all, I was the guy whose shoulder she cried on the night they broke up. But I never raised the issue, in part because I felt the time was wrong, but mostly because I feared losing her. One of my roommates Bobby wasn't that shy. He was a popular guy, with long dark hair, a good sense of humor and bunch of friends. Jane went out with him and they quickly hooked up. Once again Jane was sleeping with the guy down the hall only this time I could hear them through my wall. Listening to Jane's cries of pleasure did nothing.
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