They'll think you are a girl who justhappened to be born with a tiny prick instead of a vagina." To be honest, I don't feel anything except a dull throb," I said. "Ifeel good that they are gone, though. They just got in the way."I spent the entire weekend in bed although I was able to get up and dosome things. I noted that Paul's entire attitude had changed since Traciehad given him the hormone shots. He seemed much happier and took over allthe household duties. He seemed very respectful of Luke who spent theweekend with mommy and seemed almost in awe of him. On Saturdayafternoon, when I went into the kitchen, he did confide in me."I listened at the guest bedroom door last night while Luke and my wifewere going at it," Paul said. "He can really roger her. She was begginghim to fuck her harder. She was never like that with me. Do you thinkthey would ever let me watch?" Why don't you ask?" I replied. "All they can do is say no." I'm a little hesitant to ask your mother about that,". I continued meeting with my gender therapist and would try to make itclear that I didn't want to become a girl."I only ever liked the sexual excitement of cross dressing," I told himon one occasion that Mum didn't attend the appointment."Did you get constantly aroused?" he asked."Well no. I did though find it very exciting to wear my sister'sclothes." Are you excited mow?" he asked."No I don't get excited any longer since I had the surgeries. There isnothing to get excited about now. It just feels like when I used todress up in my boy's clothes. That these are just clothes to wear." Don't you feel the difference in materials? He asked."Yes obviously that's different," I replied honestly and crossed my legsfeeling the sheer nylon feel of the stockings. Unlike before where Iwould get an erection from doing that there was nothing like the samereaction now."So you don't enjoy wearing those stockings?" I do and I don't," I replied. "It's not the same now and its not asexciting as it once.
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