Again. Christ! So many stories, I must start with the fact that I feel a fake starting with "So here I am, again".But it's true and I will explain why given the chance.So I'm here, typing. God, I'm actually typing my thoughts and I have a "so called" happy marriage with four c***dren. Why am I so sad, why to do such a thing?There must be something wrong with me surely?I am a reasonable husband and a reasonable father. I am, in fact, a respected person within my local community. So why am I doing this? Sharing my soul with strangers?Do I really think that strangers could help my current lockdown shit?I don't know, all I know is that the words are flowing.I'm generally sad and aware that my wife is no longer interested in having any form of sex, which has lead me to the internet for stimulus. Porn was ok for a while but doesn't "float my boat" I'm looking for interaction but, and it's (pardon the phrase) a big but - I do not want to be unfaithful or cheat on my wife.So, I thought I'd. I was very pleased withthe progress TC was making. He passed his midtermsand his papers were shaping up nicely. If hecontinued to work he would pass all his classes.Nikki was another matter. She seemed to be holdingback, almost as if she wanted to stay as her tutor.She passed her midterms, but there were mistakes thatlooked like she deliberately made them. I decidedthat I needed to talk to her.It was Friday afternoon and Nikki and I were in theathletic study room working on her philosophy paper.I noticed she was distracted."What's on your mind? Obviously it isn't Plato!" Iasked with a laugh."Sorry. I started practice this week and there is alot of pressure on me this season. I am trying mybest, but I just seem to be a step slower than theother girls," she said."Well I can't help you with that, however I can helpyou with this paper," I said, "Did you find a bookyet to support your argument?" No, I am having trouble finding the right book.Could you come over to the library with me and.
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