A C-130 was lumbering along when an F-16 flashed by. The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, 'watch this!' and promptly went into a barrel roll, followed by a steep climb. He then finished with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier.The F-16 pilot asked the C-130 pilot, "What did you think of that?"The C-130 pilot said, "That was impressive, but watch this!"The C-130 droned along for about 5 minutes and then the C-130 pilot came back on and said, "What did you think of that?"Puzzled, the F-16 pilot asked, "What the heck did you do?"The C-130 pilot chuckled and replied, "I stood up, stretched my legs, walked to the back, took a leak, and then got a cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll."Moral of the StoryWhen you are young & foolish, speed & flash may seem like a good thing! But when you get older & smarter, comfort & ease is not such a bad thing!That's why the new definition for S.O.S. is "Slower, Older and Smarter."This one is compliments of Dom"What do you get when you cross a dog. ”Wife texts back 5 minutes later;“Computer really fucked now.”A Greek and Italian were sitting in a Starbuck’s one day discussing who had the superior culture.Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, “Well, we have the Parthenon.”Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, “We have the Coliseum.”The Greek retorts, “We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics”The Italian, nodding agreement, says, “But we built the Roman Empire.”And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.With a flourish of finality he says, “We invented sex!”The Italian replies, “That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women.”A photographer on vacation was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read‘$10,000 per call’.The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000.
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