She had barely spotted the napkin she wore overnight and was feeling quite well, though she was still depressed.The oldest aunty, whose mum was a Pigeon Hole Bilinara [south of Yarralin], said that when she felt it was near her time, Tessa should eat fish. “Them fish contain baby. You eat fish with baby, baby grow in you. When baby big ‘nuff, baby come out.”While it didn’t sound physiologically feasible, the women had all been reassuring. And they certainly alleviated Tessa’s depression.Later, when Sam returned, Tessa related what the aunties had said, adding their words relating to the relationship between people and the country they grew up in. A child’s first food came from the earth and was fed to it by the mother. “Now the food come from store, but bye-n-bye they eat bush food – bush food tie body to country.”“Interesting,” Sam said. “So should we be in the Flinders or in New South?”“New South. Sydney’s got triple the population of all of South Australia.”“Would you want to live. Why was she here, and why now? To tell him she was sorry? Another lie, no doubt. She lied so much, so easy. He felt a tear on his cheek, and it made him furious.“Why are you here?” he asked, his voice thick.His mother’s dark eyes went wide.“Why?” she whispered, her hand clawing in front of her, theatrically, as if reaching for something to hold onto; but her robot face had no expression. “To ... to see you, of course. Does a mother have to have a reason?”In most lives, it happens maybe once or twice that insanity feels more attractive than keeping your wits about you. In Lucian’s bizarre life there’d been a lot of such moments, but this one still stole the show.His mother’s wish was so absurd, and yet such a travesty of his deepest longings, that he could only respond by laughing, crying and screaming all at once.He grabbed her shoulders again, pushed his face into hers and screamed at the top of his lungs. Whore, he screamed, he guessed, and monster, and bitch, of course, and whore.
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