MONIKA Epi 1

Jeff and I often joked and talked about sex. We'd k** each other about interracial sex and what our baby might look like. He was so black and I was so white neither of us could quite imagine what our c***d would look like. Yeah, I know this was a strange relationship, but I was attracted to Jeff and we k**ded all the time like that.Anyway, one night after working the swing shift, we got off at midnight. We joked and flirted about going out to a nightclub. My husband was over until very late visiting his family across town and for some reason I decided to take Jeff's joke seriously and accepted his offer to go out, saying that I had time for a couple of drinks. I figured that I would still be home before my husband and I was attracted to Jeff.We went to a local club a mile or so away from work, with a couple of Jeff's friends and Jeff and I sat in the back seat of the car. I guess I expected something to happen or I wouldn't have accepted his invitation, but Jeff was a fast worker. He. As I wander towards the back of one of the aisles, I come across a small section of a shelf that has a meagre selection of erotica. I set down my armload of books on the floor and nervously reach up to pull a selection off a shelf. Delta of Venus by Anais Nin. I know of this book. I read a few pages once upon a time when I spotted it on the shelf at a friend’s house before guiltily shoving it back when I realized what it contained. I am curious and I begin to read. My heart is racing and I am looking around to make sure no one is nearby, feeling somehow that my interest in such a work of fiction is inappropriate. I would not want others in my small town to catch me reading it. I carefully place my hands over the cover in a way that obscures the title.The prose is poetic and lurid and deals with some shocking subject matter. I am both aroused and conflicted as I read. I find myself laughing as I peruse Anais Nin's 'letter to her sponsor" in which she hurls hateful invectives at him.
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