The self assured, always in control, confident woman he loved wasn’t used to failure. She was always so on top of things and secure in knowing the direction she was moving, but she hadn’t ever really failed at anything that was important to her. And the fear of losing her connection with him again after the rough week they had already gone through had pushed her right over the edge. She had been so afraid of losing him because she hadn’t thought through another dream fulfillment, that it had rocked her deeply into her core. And even though he had reassured her that he wasn’t upset, the very concept of making such a major misstep had already done its work at fraying her emotions.He had no idea what to say. He was concerned anything would sound woefully inadequate or condescending, and he didn’t want to take that chance. He simply smiled, said he loved her, and then gently kissed her. As he tried to pull away slightly to ensure she knew that it was only a compassionate and chaste touch. I remember my disbelief and a sudden urgency to clear my mind of the vivid visions that had been driving me for the past few hours. As I opened the door I leaned down glanced across the seat giving the good looking, nicely dressed older man a quick once over as I got in and closed the door. As I had first leaned down glancing in at him, for an instant before he realized I could see his eyes. I could swear he was checking me out, staring towards my crotch. My shorts were quite short riding high on my smooth, tan thighs. The combined events of me deciding to hitch hike, him pulling up, and me catching his lowered gaze all happend in an instant. During which time my concentration was consumed by the vivid images and feelings I ex perienced as sat on that damp toilet seat. My friends older brother giving me my first taste of dominant verbally abusive and imposing use. It was my own dirty, overpowering and insatiable desires that caused me to quickly dismiss my natural ability to.
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