We had been in the same year at Barnet Grammar, but there the similarities ended. Monica was already married and had a posh house. Unlike me, she did not have a child, but a career in local government, oh, and lots of exciting friends.I had been looking forward to Monica's party evening but it didn't turn out good for me. I was surprised at the absence of men, including Monica's husband. They were all in the bright new mini dresses with Dusty Springfield hairdos. I'd felt almost prim in my new cream trouser-suit and short hair. Monica had circulated through the kitchen, offering refills of red or white, and asking us to all go into the lounge. It was supposed to be daring but even I new about vibrators and love balls. I had tried to join in the fun but it was all a bit crass and not what I had envisaged. An irreverent and rebellious attitude had been in the air. Many girls were behaving like whores. Inside an hour Monica's feminised stag party had degenerated into a distasteful. ”“Well it was only after her hysterectomy that she could take me proper, see? We used to manage before, but I was always …..” Tom stopped, almost embarrassed.“Go on, I’m listening.” This was getting more interesting by the word.“Well, the old boy was always squishy, see. It must’ve taken too much to fill him up. But that suited Alice just fine because, you know, we were kind of …. err… what’s the word …. compatible. Anyways, after her hysterectomy she realised there was much more room for, you know, for things.”“Go on,” said Vera …. This was getting very, very interesting.“So the dozy old bat ordered some of them there pills on that there on-line thingy. Don’t ask me, I know nowt about it. Anyway she swears she only ordered fifty, but a box of a five hundred turns up. Well, anyways, we tries one and I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life, and swore I’d never take one again. I thought I’d grown a third leg. Anyways, Alice loved it, and I’m sure she’s kept slipping one into me spuds.
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