Kyle stood up and looked through his dingy glasses, his pudgy face beaming as he whipped out a magazine of sorts from the lining of his jackets and held it high above his head. Yep, that instantly pissed me off… another playboy. I rolled my eyes and clicked on the Xbox, and I felt his hand on my wrist, still beaming he told me “Wait just look at it”“I don’t want to, theres nothing good in those”“Those?” he said smugly “Do you even know what magazine this is? Or did you just guess it was another playboy?” I tried to think of something clever to say but he was right, I did think it was another playboy, that’s all he ever got his hands on to and they got a bit boring after a while, but after teasing me with such potential treasure I had to have a look. I fumbled through the a couple of pages and was instantly shocked, the page I landed on had a middle aged woman with her legs wide open, two long manicured fingers spreading her lips apart revealing what looked to be a slick very bright. "Indeed your Grace." I replied."Have you been ennobled?" he chuckled, "Or are you Black Ned the highwayman?"I laughed, "No indeed, I am a failed adventurer who sought riches in the Americas and succumbed to sea sickness before I passed the Scillies but I had some luck mining in Cornwall, enough for a suit of clothes and a horse in any case." And your reason for calling?" he asked."Catherine," I replied."There is no Catherine here, I have disowned her entirely, what happens to her interests me not a fig." he said more with sorrow than anger."Then you have no objection if I woo her, offer wedlock perhaps?" I asked."You, a fraudster with a suit and a horse and no fortune, indeed you should be a perfect match, go to her, woo her fornicate should wish, I shall find the key to her chastity belt, if you have a shilling." "Sir," I protested, but he was searching his pockets, and drew out a silver key."Here, now go wallow in the pig sty and fornicate to your hearts content." he said.I found a.
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