It was a way I couldexpress my inner feelings without losing my mind. It was clear to me nowthat my wife knows more than she is saying and that I was only foolingmyself. The rest of the world saw who I really was. Being a bit of aloner, I never really went out for drinks with the guys but now I realizedin those few brief seconds as I reevaluated my entire life, that the fewmale friends I did have stopped calling or seeing me and now, at least atwork, I associated only with women who seemed to be most friendly towardme.So here I was sitting in Susan's apartment wearing a robe, recovering froma night of giving blow jobs and getting fucked by men and other transwomen. I use the term other as I now had to admit who I was. I now had ahuge Tramp Stamp on my lower back that said Cum Slut, as well as piercednipples, ears and permanently high thin arched brows. Susan found me someclothing that I was able to squeeze into and offered to drive me home. Igave her a hug, thanked her for everything. The son-of-a-bitch was even going to try and put it on his expense report. The words printed on the slip were burned into her brain, "Marla - Room 316. Must have room for her by 6p.m." She had checked the date on the charge slip and it had been for one of the nights that he hadn't come home until late. The tears would not stop.At noon the phone rang and she almost didn't answer it, but at the last minute she picked it up, "Hello?" Jesus, what's wrong with you, you sound like you're crying" said her best friend."Oh God, Donna" and she started crying again. She heard a click and she knew what it meant - Donna lived less than five minutes away - she was on her way over. In a little less than five minutes she heard the front door open and close, and then Donna came into the kitchen."Baby, what's wrong?"And then it all came out in a flood. Donna listened to the whole story and then she said:"I hate to be an 'I told you so', but I told you not to marry that asshole. I've never liked.
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