" I said to myself for no particular reason. Then I pulled one out and lit up. Frankly it tasted shitty to begin with, and I coughed a bit. But slowly the taste seemed to improve as the tingly rush from having been without nicotine for nearly 4 hours swept through my body. It was nice. Soon everything was cool, even though I found myself fighting with a slow moving Winnebago.As I passed the Motorhome with Idaho plates. I felt something odd. My pants were uncomfortable. After I settled back in my lane I undid the button. That felt a bit better, but these were my traveling pants, and were already a size too big. "I must be getting fat, its all these damn Doritos." I said as I pitched the bag into the back seat.I took another drag of the cigarette, and was met with another odd sensation. My legs itched, all over, instantaneously. I reached down to scratch the worst areas, but it seemed to spread across most of my body, and intensified in my groin area. I was about to scratch there before. This wasn’t going where I wanted to go, but for strictly personal reasons.“Ewan, you said this was personal, and it is. There are some things I want to keep to myself.”“Does that mean you never did it again?” he asked with what came too close to a smirk.“NO, it doesn’t.”“One more question, okay? Will you answer one more?”“Okay, one more, and then you need to get to bed.”“In total, how many times? Wait, let me be clear, how many times have you had sex?”The first word that sprung to my mind was ‘shit’. I’d dug a hole.“Twice.” I could have lied, but for what purpose?“With a girl?”“What?” I spurted out. “Of course.”I pushed him up off my bed. “Go to bed.”He turned and stood in front of me.“One more question.”“No. You had your question. Two, in fact.”He smiled. “Then we broke the rule, so that rule doesn’t count.”“It wasn’t a rule.”“Anyway,” he continued as if I’d given my permission. “I want you to do me a favor. Sort of like a birthday present. Will you?”“What is it?”I was in no way.
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