He goes into the bar, and speaks to the owner, who sizes him up, and offers him the job. He adds this: “One thing. If you ever hear, ‘Big John’s a-comin’’, just get out of here as fast as you can!”He works there for a few weeks, when one day, he’s cleaning the place, and there’s an incredible commotion outside. People are yelling, screaming “Big John’s a-comin! Big Jooooohn’s a-comin!”As he’s trying to leave the bar, though, he’s knocked over by a massively huge man, riding an even bigger mountain lion, using a twelve foot rattlesnake for a whip! The man rides the mountain lion up to the bar, tosses the rattlesnake into the corner, and bellows out “Gimme a barrel of pickle juice!”Our young hero goes into the store room and rolls out a barrel of pickle juice. The man rips the lid off with his teeth and drains it all in one gulp, and tops it off with a belch that rattles windows three towns away.The young man meekly asks “Would you like another barrel of pickle juice?” “Ain’t got time!”. We’re her only close friends, even though I know we haven’t been able to get very close to her. She told me that Brian told her to think about what a poor excuse for wife and a human being she was. He told her the world would be better off without her. She’s scared of him and doesn’t want to cross him.”Pam asked, “What’d she do for work? I never heard.”Emily rolled her eyes, “She’s got a Ph.D. in pharmacology, but Brian wouldn’t allow her to work in her field. He told her it was beneath their family. Instead, she worked in an office where they type up the dictations of medical doctors to go into patient files. The pay is a fraction of what she could be making working in a pharmacy or pharma company. Brian told her to lump it whenever she raised the idea of changing jobs, and that he liked her in just the place he arranged for her to be. She didn’t dare cross him. Again, he ran down her degree and her ability to do decent work for anybody.”Dave shook his head. He wanted to punch his.
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