Our kissing got me hard again, and she grabbed me and said, "Do you want to fuck me, little brother?"I got out of her bed and went back to my room, this time falling asleep.The next morning we got up, showered and dressed and went off to school. Chrissy wouldn't hold my hand today—she was upset with me. I didn't know what to say, so I sat down and just started thinking."Hey," I heard, looking up and seeing John Draggers. "What's up?" Oh, I got girl trouble," I said."Talk to me and tell me Chris. Everything you're going through I have already—what is it ... Sex?" he guessed."Yeah, I was in her bed last night, and she'd given me a blow job, and I came in her mouth. Then she asked me—if I wanted to fuck her or not?" I said."Do you?" Probably, but our bedrooms don't have locks on them, and our parents constantly come in unannounced. I couldn't risk it, John—I love her too much."We talked to each other a little longer, and we'd missed a whole class period talking about our sisters and. I have time.”“I don't. I'm 36. I've been avoiding the conversation I need to have with myself.”“What are you thinking now?”“I'm not sure how to answer that.” My hands shook. “Let’s start with you, then. Do you want to have children?”“Yes,” Jacob answered immediately. “Do you want to have children?”I paused. “I don't know.”Jacob looked stricken.“That's not a ‘No, but I don't want to say no.’ It's not a “Yes, with complications.’ I am truly conflicted about this decision in a way I haven't considered before.”“What brought this on?”“The new year. This past year.”“What happened this past year?” Jacob asked.“You.” I fought the tears burning my eyes. “I want to go into January with a definite plan. So I have to figure this out by midnight.”“What am I supposed to do? Sit here and wait for you do decide if you are breaking up with me?”“I didn't say that.”“But that's what this is, right?” he demanded. “If I want kids, and you don't, then you want to end our relationship?”“Isn't that what you.
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