Good things. I love you." And then she hugged me without holding back at all. All love and acceptance. My heart kind of exploded in my chest. Looking back, that's the moment that I think I started to actually fall in love with her. I knew deep down that she had a good heart. She may have learned some bad things from her mom and step father, but they couldn't change her nature. She really is a sweet person. Soon after, she moved back in with her ex-boyfriend but this time, she kept more in touch. I was really happy about that. We really started to connect better. We both realized that we were much more alike than different. The more we talked the more it became apparent. Not just similar likes and dislikes, but in general outlook and attitude. She loved that I didn't care that she was sexually adventurous. I loved that she knew that I was a bit twisted in what I liked also and that she didn't love me any less for it. We didn't talk much about how I felt about her, but it would come up. Boo!Well she’s right.Maybe but she didn’t have to say it. The ladies leave to their own devices and plans as I sit and think on mine only to find one came back and honestly, it’s the one I thought would. “I know you, I know all this is huge and painful but have you really thought it through,” Syd asks quietly sitting back down. “I have and it actually feels liberating to imagine doing what I have planned,” I tell her as she nods. “I was here before, I’ll be here after and beyond but you need to think about whether or not you will be,” Syd states and I sit up a little,” I mean physically. Doing this could get you killed.” “Only if I was going to do it dumb and blind,” I start and she stops me. “Good, think it through… all of it and when it’s over I’m waiting for you any time. Not when it’s convenient or when I’m not terribly busy,” Syd declares in the quiet of the library with her own quiet intensity. I watch her leave, all jeans and black leather jacket and have to think hard about.
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