Images of photos suddenly appear, flashes of sitting alone in the family car back in America, talking with such a voice over the phone. I know who this is. I reach up to hold him but he is already holding me, pulling me up from the dirty, bloody floor, holding me so tightly I feel safe for a second. I try to hush him, but can’t speak because I am crying. He adjusts his grasp and heaves me up. My leg screams bright colors into the night but I clench my jaw shut. Andy is puzzled but realizes I am hurt, and helps me to favor the wound. We stumble forwards into the blackness, sometimes tripping over bodies, sometimes half-running. I think of Sophie and try to live up to her. I stiffen myself like metal against the pain. Andy is ahead and getting the door. He had killed the guards and is wearing their uniform. I stop and watch him for the first time ever in a lantern’s wavering light. A thick turban casts a deep shadow over his soft eyes, but I know it is my love. He has risked and. Not the way she meant it. But it was going to look like that to her no matter what I said.“I don’t agree with you about sex; not at all. We should have talked about it first. That was the only mistake I feel I made. But you never once told me how you felt about sex. You never once told me that sex was out of the question until you were in a permanent relationship of some kind. How could I know?”“You could have asked, instead of doing things to make me so excited that I broke all my own rules.”Jesus. Now it was my fault that she had such easy orgasms?“You had orgasms when I barely touched you,” I said. “You were that excited! What did you expect me to think? How could I possibly know you didn’t want to do it when your body was telling me that you wanted me in the worst possible way? When we did it, you were so excited you were dripping wet!”“You talk about it like it was nothing!” Annie protested, sounding outraged. “It’s everything! Didn’t it mean anything to you?”If I tried to be.
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