The nicest thing about the future is ... that it always starts tomorrow.2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?7. Business conventions are important ... because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?9. Scratch a cat ... and you will have a permanent job.10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy a car.11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. - like, it could be the right number.13. No one ever says. "Thank you Jim," said mum, "but you must call her Chrissie from now on." Oh yes, of course," said Jim.For some reason it was at this point that I started to cry. Mum reachedout to me but Jim was quicker and I found myself holding onto him andcrying on his shoulder.He sat me down and put his arm around me. I wiped my eyes on myhandkerchief and as I glanced down I saw that he had a bulge showing inhis trousers. What is going on I thought. A few hours ago I was just aninjured boy. Now I am wearing frilly girls clothes and cuddling up to aboy who is obviously turned on by me."The gas leak has been repaired," came an announcement. "You can all gohome, sorry for the inconvenience."Jim turned to my mother. "I'm happy to let Chrissie lean on me on the wayhome if that will help." Thank you Jim," said mum."Thank you Jim," I said."Susan and I will just go on ahead and get home to sort out the meal.Will you be alright with Jim Chrissie?" She'll be alright with me," said Jim."Why don't you come to.
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