In this newworld I had already done hers, after some gentle persuasion. First,fascinated, searching for my Alex, I'd watched Lexia reach under herskirt to skim off her tights. With braided hair, mascara and subtlelipstick, my ex-boyfriend was self-consciously feminine.The cool lick of polish across my nails never faltered. "And you weremine," she whispered."It's more important to girls."Alex had been the one; at sixteen I'd been so certain he was my truelove that giving him my virginity had been perfect. I'd never imagined aworld where he wouldn't be mine."So, it was for me too."Tactless cow. Apologies weren't enough, too little too late - lookingback on my screams and shouting made me squirm. When Lexia had mostneeded a friend, that should have been me.When she'd finished painting, she sat beside me on the bed. Stretchingout my legs I wriggled my toes next to hers and you couldn't tell thedifference in our biology."You know," I said into the quiet, "it was really hard for me. To. ”Claire was still looking intently into my eyes, waiting for me to finish.“The way I see it, darling, is we can either play it safe like we’ve always done, or we can take a risk, and trust ourselves to deal with anything that comes along.”The way I’d put it, made it sound so simple. But honestly, in my heart and mind, it felt anything but simple. I’d been useless at work that day and had spent most of the day thinking about what had happened in our lives since we’d met Jason on Thursday night. I knew that Claire and I had some huge, life-changing decisions to make, and I’d wanted to get my own mind straight before Claire and I talked things through. My eyes were open to the risks we would be taking if I allowed or encouraged Claire to carry on seeing Jason. But despite these risks, by the time I’d arrived home I’d resolved in my own mind what I wanted to happen. Unless Claire was really anti the whole idea, I wanted her to start seeing Jason as a regular thing.I’d reached this.
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