You can be smart. You have to study more!" Even I could see how this conversation wasn't going to help Mindy. My wife was totally focused on achievement, insisting that all three of her children would become doctors, lawyers, or professors. I couldn't argue with that value system, but it hardly helped Mindy to develop any self-confidence or esteem. I suspected that she was destined to be a slightly above-average student regardless of how much or how little she studied.The only way she was going to feel validated was through the attention her face and body could get her. It was on the occasion of this overheard, often-heard conversation that I came to this realization. The timing of this discovery on my part was ideal — it made me immediately recognize the cause Mindy's subsequent behavior, and it forearmed me to take advantage of it. I can't say I am proud of the use I made of this knowledge, but I must admit that I've been very pleased with its results.-o0o-I guess it was on a. It wasn't as if she was committing some unpardonable sin. She was simply observing her body.And her body was nice indeed.Debbie was twenty-five, and had been married for four years to a preacher who was fifteen years her senior. If anyone had asked her "Do you love your husband?" She would have answered: "What kind of question is that? Of course I love him." But in reality, she had married him because it was the thing to do, and because he had asked her to marry him. It was that simple. She did like him; he was a nice enough guy and he was a nice provider; but did she love him passionately? No, she did not. But she had determined early in her marriage to make the best of it, so she had been a dutiful wife.The fact that her husband did not satisfy her sexually was something that she had convinced herself came with the territory; it was an unavoidable part of being a minister's wife; it was something she had determined that in the overall scheme of things was secondary.Her husband,.
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