I climbed the familiar steps, put my leftover key in the lock and pushed open his door, my mind racing ahead to the erotic conclusion of this journey. The apartment was dark, but I could tell it was occupied. I groped through the dim interior, and pushed open his bedroom door. I was instantly overcome with regret and horror, for there lay Jon entangled in a mound of disheveled sheets, wrapped in the arms and legs of another guy, and obviously savoring the afterglow of sexual encounter. "I'm sorry" I stammered as I retreated in bewilderment. Jon bounded up and after me, calling out "Wait Allie, let me explain." But I understood, and this needed no explanation. I was just another gay lover, a variation on the guy in his bed. He caught up with me at the front door. "Allie, he's just a friend." "Yeah, and so am I," I sobbed, and broke free from his grasp and ran down the stairs into the darkening, cold afternoon. I took a long route back to the dorm. I was nauseated by the thought of Jon. ’ ‘But she was never enough for you, Ian. You wanted Dinah. Why?’ ‘Because Dinah loved me back for the right reasons. When you looked at me, you saw nothing but a means to my uncle’s power. I didn’t put two and two together until I happened to see the clinic’s financial portfolio on your desk one day after you and I had made the pact to transfer Dinah and me to get you pregnant. I saw Jonas’ name as one of the big contributors, but that was only for your view, not the public. Those of us who invested individually never knew where the bulk of capital monies came from. I began to see how you were spending and your standard of living, and I figured that you and Jonas had something going. When things got bad, that was the only leverage I had against you to get Dinah and me and the baby away, because I knew that with his political ambitions and all, the last thing he would want is to be publicly linked to an adoption clinic that was a bit, shall we say, shady. I just had no idea it would.
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