If they weren’t interested all they had to do was give me a simple “No” or “No thank you.” Not once have I heard those words come out of a female’s mouth. Instead I would get the often “Maybe” or “Um… sure OK,” only to be cancelled on at the last minute. I wasn’t interested in playing games. I guess the bright side to all of it is that I haven’t been laughed at… yet. Sure I could probably go to some bar someplace and pick up a random chick drunk enough to fuck me, but that wasn’t me. Maybe that’s what is wrong with me. I care too much about the experience. I can’t just enjoy it for the mindless, anonymous act that it could be. Instead I have to know the person, actually care about the woman I’m having sex with. Sigh…. What a mess I must be. As I slept that night my dreams were haunted by your beautiful smile. It was nice to see such beauty in my dreams, I was usually lucky to have any, but one as nice as this was a welcome respite. It was several days later before I saw you again. I. All my blockers were behind me, but I wasn’t going to be denied. I knew one was the kicker and felt I had the best chance to break a tackle if he hit me. I set the other player up, with a little Marcus Allen juke step, and ran right at the kicker. He made his move too soon and I side-stepped him, to run into the end zone.The silence was deafening, it was even quieter than it was at home when we ran one back. I handed the ball to the ref and headed for the huddle.The coaches had told us that we’d go for two points all night, we’d need the experience for later in the season. I realized I was breathing about every third breath and started breathing normal as my heart stopped beating like a drum.Ben called el Toro’s favorite play and I ran off tackle, untouched for the two points.Ben was the first one to me and we hugged and danced. el Toro was next then Coach Miller and Coach Clarke each gave me a high five when we got to the sidelines.I felt better and my heart rate wasn’t but about.
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