Manali (name changed) was dressed in a white nighty but had a robe covering her, I had brought some scented oils and liquids which I always carry with me as part of my job, I began massaging Rakesh, in the middle of it he got up and persuaded Manali to try only the back massage- so she changed into wearing a white laced bra and panty, I was outside while she changed, Rakesh asked me to come in,Manali was lying on the bed with a towel on her ass and a bra, I began massaging her neck, shoulders- she was hot- 34B,- milky white skin, extremely smooth and lubricant. The oil made it even more shiny, I kept my professional standards at its highest and began massaging, Rakesh was watching it from a distance- Manali had closed her eyes and seeing it Rakesh was stroking his dick – winking at me to go ahead and make a move sexually-I asked Manali whether I should remove the bra hook to do my job more easily and she did not reply, I considered it as a yes and removed her hook, Rakesh meanwhile. I felt he prevented me frombeing the person I needed to be, but the reality was , and is that I was /am the only person who should bear that reality, that guilt.I attended through my work, a shrink of sorts under the guise of angermanagement - I am always unhappy and grumpy / unreasonable, and quicklyopened up to her (the psychiatrist) about being transgendered. Sheencouraged me to seek out support groups which I did, as well as openingup to my wife, who to her credit, did and has not disowned me!I attended the monthly support group for a while before circumstanceforced me to stop. ( I really regret not continuing with these groups - itwas ultimately the only support I had and I allowed my worries about how"normal people at work" would perceive me, to be enough of a deterrentthat I stopped attending.I continued to dress conservatively as I pleased whilst at home with nopushback from my wife until 2013 when I somewhat stupidly obtainedestradiol via the internet and took a dose every.
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