He looked tired, from what I could see. It nearly radiated off his body. I hoped against hope and wished harder than I ever had in my life that I could only reach out and touch him. I put my hand up on the sill, wanting to reach out, but afraid to draw attention, less they come up and beat me again. I was still healing from the last one. I guess I won’t be singing anymore. The MacPhearson nodded up to my window and Cien looked up. I felt a pain in my chest and fell away from the window before he could see me. It was there, burning and real. I gasped for air and fell against the wall. The last time the soldiers had come in and beat me, they’d kicked me in the chest. Ever since then I’d had a pain that came and went in my chest. This time was the worst. I lay on the floor and gasp for air. It wasn’t working. My mind was working telling me to calm down, to relax and I would be able to breathe. But my body had other plans. I was hyperventilating, and I couldn’t help it. The lack of. "The later the better. I'll tell them tomorrow. Then you'll meet them on Saturday unless they go out to avoid you." She laughed at the very idea.They went out to avoid me. But I anticipate.On Thursday Nicola and I drove into the Cheviots and had lunch in a pub near Hadrian's Wall. Then she spent the evening with us. She stayed at her home all day on Friday, packing, but arrived at our place that evening, livid with anger. She ranted. None of us could get a word in.The gist of it was that she had finished with her parents, or that they had finished with her if she went back with me. She mimicked her mother."'You're engaged to Barry. Now there's a nice boy; we know his parents, they're our sort of people.' Then came the threats. You were only some sort of filing clerk, you were after my money. If I went with you they would cut me off. They would change their wills and cut me out. I was exchanging a life I knew for poverty and some poky little house or flat in a squalid part of.
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