We talked in circles for a while but somewhere in the conversation it became apparent to me she had doubts about us. Maybe not serious doubts, but she needed to be one hundred percent sure. We agreed to just see how things went. I told her, I was not going anywhere, I would be here when she decided and I would support her either way. She hugged me and kissed me.For the next month, I lived on pins and needles. We talked very little, although I never did see Lance’s car by Beth’s house. That was some consolation anyway, it would have killed me to see him spend the night with her. The holidays were fast approaching again and I had really hoped Beth would be in my life this year. I so wanted to share them with her. In addition, Beth’s birthday was December the 15th. I really wanted to do something special for her.Beth and I would talk every few days, we rarely saw each other. We seemed to talk about everything but what I really wanted to talk about. But I had decided not to pressure her. Out of the corner of my eyes, I see Jonah looking at Jesse and I. He doesn’t look happy, but then again he rarely does when I’m around him. The class passes by quickly and I leave without one word to Mr. Blackbrook. When I get home that evening I fall back onto my bed and stare at the ceiling. I wonder what I should do. Do I like Jesse? Yeah, he seems nice and he is hot, but there’s no comparison between him and Jonah. Have I given up on Jonah? No, I still want him, I’m just hesitant because I’m not exactly sure about how he feels. I haven’t given up though. I remembered that this Saturday is the homecoming dance. How could I forget about Homecoming? I know how: Jonah. A couple guys asked me a couple weeks ago, but they probably gave up because I waited too long. What was I going to do now? Maybe I wouldn’t even go, or maybe I would go stag. Maybe Cody or Jesse would ask me. I haven’t heard anything about them having dates. And maybe, just maybe, Mr. Blackbrook would be there as a.
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