.. all I ever got from him were trifles" ... and naturally he spent the trifles like pouring water from a bucket.A wiser, less volatile man could have invested those trifles and been comfortably well off. John spent them 'impressing' wealthy young men and a few young girls ... who weren't impressed ... but it was always nice to be the one getting instead of the one giving.John safaried in Africa and hunted in Alaska, flew expensive planes, boated in expensive runabouts, drove fast cars and never knew that every excess ... every foolish wager ... every penny wasted ... was documented by the men his 'uncle' hired.Now there was a true and legitimate Rákóczi. A Rákóczi-Hapsburg ... not a Ferenc ... a Hapsburg, from the distaff side ... a well mannered and educated heir ... who removed him from the wealth that was rightfully his ... and he wasn't taking the loss of all those years of toiling well ... not at all. That house ... that money ... was HIS. Years of successful evasion and more. ”“You were thinking of those things at fourteen? They were important?”“Making love with Birgit made me think of those things. Having sex with Melanie didn’t.”The conversation continued for more than 20 minutes as Doctor Mercer mapped out the last two years of my life. I could see by her eyes that the Michelle/Melanie situation was a bit of a shock to her, but she said nothing about it.“I have an assignment for you to do before you come next Tuesday. Same time, by the way.”“OK”“Keep a journal of your thoughts.”“I’m already doing that. I’ll bring it next time, if you want.”“That will be helpful. One more question — you said you were having trouble sleeping. Have you found anything that helps?”I think she was probing for drinking or drugs or something like that.“Jennifer.”“What?”“Jennifer used to be my best friend, as I said. I hope she will be again. That’s probably the most important relationship that I messed up. Sunday night I had her come over and cuddle me while I slept. I didn’t.
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