He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn’t please her, so he always used a big dildo on her. All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She said “I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!” He said, “Explain the kids!”A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom’s bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, “I need a man, I need a man!” Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, “Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!”Kid 1: “Hey, I bet you’re still a virgin.”Kid 2: “Yeah, I was a virgin until last night.”Kid 1: “As if.”Kid 2: “Yeah, just ask your sister.”Kid 1: “I don’t have a sister.”Kid 2: “You will. There is always a huge physical crash of utter relief at the end of a mission, where for the first time in sometimes days you can finally let go of yourself and relax, but I didn't want to do it here. I found a dark corner and slunk into it and pretended to sleep. I didn't have to pretend very hard and ended up taking a couple of short catnaps until the PA system announced that we'd be docking in Key West in about five minutes.We docked at Key West at about eight o'clock, or a little after, and that suited me perfect. I really would have loved an evening at The Place, but I was already so far behind schedule that I couldn't linger in Key West. That was my favorite dive bar anywhere, filled with assorted lunatics, transplanted thoroughly insane Yankees and drink deranged Conches too twisted and degenerate for any of the mundane amusements found on Duval Street. Oh, and a blue parrot with a mouth fouler than any Marine or Sailor, but that's another story. I'd met my geek friend Jack.
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