But my mouth just would not say the words. And after a minute or so of standing there like an idiot I just had to say something so I did it. I said "Thank you". And in that same condescending tone she said "Your welcome, Marilyn. Have a good night, Marilyn" and closed the door. I don't understand what is happening. What does she want? How can she think I need her permission to go out? Friday, March 3, 2000Had dinner with Nancy but all she did was complain about work and I kept wishing I had stayed at home and was sitting at Trish's feet with her laughing at me. G_d, I'm pathetic. Saturday, March 4, 2000Spent most of the day making an upside-down cake to take tonight. I had to run out to get pineapple and cherries and then when I actually started I didn't have enough flour so I had to go out again. Now I am just waiting to go down. I hate this waiting when you are all ready and there is not time to get into anything. I totally have butterflies wondering what is going to. Tina was now scared and began to cry so I tried to comfort her.Linda announced, “Done now.”I determined that Linda had done an excellent job of eating and hardly made a mess. I took Linda out of her highchair, replaced her with Tina and took Linda into the bathroom to clean her up. As I cleansed Linda I heard a noise from the kitchen so I finished with Linda, rushed into the kitchen and realized I had forgotten the rest of Linda’s food on her highchair. Tina had taken the rest of the food and somehow splattered it across most of the kitchen and then put the plate on her head and smeared it all over herself. I took several calming breaths and finally said, “Okay Tina no food for you today.”The microwave dinged, I removed my food, sat at the table and began to eat. Tina saw me eating and began to cry but in response I turned away from her and ignored her.Linda came beside me so I picked her up, sat her on my lap and we finished my meal together. Tina continued her wailing and I had.
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