Risk as much as you're risking. Personal tragedy, trauma ... they feel numb, so they want something intense and a little bit brutal to feel anything again. But maybe it's some kind of twisted search for meaning on your part. You see where I'm coming from? But maybe you're like a soldier, wanting to go back to Afghanistan because that's the only time you felt like you were someone, someone important, making a difference, living at the very edge, at your fullest." You're the weirdest psychologist I've ever been to," I tell the man. "What's the point of all this questioning, anyway?"Suddenly, the Russian straightens up and takes a long, deep gulp from his beer can. His facial expression changes. It doesn't become harder, or more evil or anything, just ... different. "Stand up," he gestures to me. "I want you to take off everything you're wearing below the waist. Now."Shit, okay, so this is happening. I knew it would and some part of me wished he'd just get it over with, but it's still. Yet, there was a pang of regret that I didn’t stay and continue our day together.I walked into my apartment and saw Kasey cooking something for dinner. She saw me and immediately ran to me and gave me a big hug. She looked me in the eye and said, “Glad you’re home! I was worried when I didn’t see you in class, and when I got home you weren’t here.”I thought about it and realized she was right. I should have been home. “Sorry, I met a really nice guy between classes. I lost track of time.”Kasey smiled at me and continued, “A guy? Was he cute?”“Of course! Otherwise, I wouldn’t have missed class!”“So what did you do?” Kasey asked.I started to blush and a smile came across my face, “We had coffee then went back to his place.”Kasey egged me on, “Oh? You’re blushing. What else happened?”I shyly replied, “He kissed me.”“And?”“I left.”Kasey’s face was priceless, “You left?”I looked at her and reaffirmed that I had left.Kasey gave me a slightly stern look, “Why did you leave?”I.
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