’ ‘Well lady I have news for you. It’s half-eleven.’ ‘What? Where has the morning gone?’ The clown looked around him in an exaggerated way and looked back at her and grinned, ‘I can’t see it.’ ‘Thanks.’ ‘It’s okay, I’m Ray.’ ‘Oh hi, I’m Dylan. What do you do besides cleans windows and have sex with frustrated wives and widows?’ ‘I date. Want one?’ She looked puzzled. ‘Cripes are you thick. Do you want a date?’ ‘I don’t clean windows.’ He sighed and said, ‘Fair go, you are tough going.’ Dylan refrained from asking what. ‘Want to come out tonight for a few drinks and pizza?’ ‘And then what?’ ‘Well that’s up to you otherwise I bring you home to Kath.’ ‘You know my aunt well enough to call her Kath?’ ‘Yeah, she’s our club’s volunteer fitness trainer. I play rugby… er a type of football.’ ‘Okay since you know Kath I’ll go out with you tonight and thanks for being so hospitable. I only arrived from Chicago yesterday morning.’ ‘Jesus do you know any gangsters?’ ‘Not personally as far as I. If I wanted anybody in here with me, it should be him.Though he'd be squirming and uncomfortable around this emotion."I'm sorry," I mumble. "Don't know what came over me." Shush," she admonishes gently."I'm fine." The lie tastes so foul it brings more tears and I push myface into my knees, squashing impossible breasts. I'm shit. Too shit tohave beautiful hair."Toots?" she murmurs, close to my ear. I can scent her perfume - freshand delicate, disturbing the blood stench."What am I? I can't tell what's real and what's nightmare." You're a woman, Toots. A lovely woman. Its okay, everything's okay." My head's messed up," I mumble, some more sobs corrupt the words. TheArmy offers counselling, pin up posters about PTSD everywhere, butPTSD's for heroes. I refuelled helicopters in a desert shaded by plumesfrom burning oil wells.And remembered enough of my med training to scrabble two tourniquetsonto Zanna's ruptured leg.Which they saved. Amazing medics."But they couldn't have saved her leg.
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