I also had room for some other things. For instance I had my collection of old case files. I had no desire to look through them at the moment, but who knows I might write a book one day. This journal will be good practice for that, I thought.Since I collected two grand in cash on Thursday, I had it over night at the house. It didn’t concern me, but it was something I needed to think about. I was glad to be shed of most of it Friday afternoon. The extra cash I could work into much weakened band account. I could concentrate on adding a couple of hundred bucks to the bank every month, and call it profit from my worm business.After the closing on Friday afternoon, I went to the bank where I had all my accounts. For the first time in years I went to speak to a loan officer. The bank was about to close when we finished our business. He looked over the information I gave him before he said anything.“Mr. Rollins, I see no reason why we can’t give you an eight year mortgage. The payments on. ”She was right too. Other than seeing an attractive woman; she’d become nothing to me. That’s what shit like this will do.So Susan and I stayed. She sat on her side of the table. I sat on mine. I felt good actually. Earlier that morning Lisa had given me a Xanax.With the chemical help I did a pretty good job staying calm; not from fear or a possible upsurge in anger or any sense of betrayal. No, the anger would always be there, and the betrayal was all too far out in the open to matter. Other than a need to find out why, there was nothing left for me. I asked her, “Can you tell me why, and can you tell me when it started?”She put her hands on her lap where I couldn’t see them. That usually meant she was scared and nervous, but her eyes told another story.She began, “Don’t interrupt. I don’t want to fight. If you start a fight I’ll leave.”I nodded. I didn’t want to fight; I wanted to escape.“First I want to say Larry that no matter what you hear, I do love you. I’ve loved you since we.
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