I was always doing something and covering it with something else. Even I didn't know all I did that was just for show, and that was okay.I got home about 2PM and was interested to see how my house had done without me. It had taken five days to end Jerrome's reign of terror. I had been away three nights so I was curious how the house had managed. Since the Gas furnace had been installed almost a year earlier, it had been the first trip that I had left it running. I half expected it to gut the insides of the storage units. Of course I wasn't disappointed that everything worked just fine, just surprised,I went inside and looked around. I didn't stay I got on the bike and rode it into town. I was tired and I needed to wear the edge off my nerves. I parked in front of the pub I got there just in time to greet The Brit as he opened it up."Hey Brit," I said as I walked by him toward the bar. I chose the bar because when you sat in the middle of the room you knew just how close everyone was. 

I am holding firm, but I can also feel what it is like to be losing everything. I can’t stop wondering and worrying what will you do next, and how I will I manage it? 

I know in this moment that I am not in control. At all. I am yours, and I know that nothing makes you wetter and happier. That it arouses you is what gives me the calming will to stay and surrender to your seductive wickedness.

SHE“Oh for fuck’s sake, that is a new pillow and you have already gone and made it dirty.” With an exasperated exhalation, I close my eyes and try to refocus after the blatant show of disrespect and defiance you just showed me by lifting your head and smiling.I cannot let my anger get the better of me and I need to remember you are new at this and it is my job to teach you what it is that I want out of you. I need to change your way of thinking to better coexist with mine. You will eventually come to know what is expected of you, how best to please me, and that everything I want you to do for.
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