I daren’t. Where will I be when I wake? Back in twenty-twenty? I don’t want to go back. I’m not ready. Adrenaline pumping, I rummage through the contents of my room again, open every drawer, every cupboard, every notebook. I examine everything, absorbing every detail of my teenage life, memorising it all for when…“I’m sorry, Jez,” I whisper.Tomorrow’s date will never happen. I’m sure of it. Tears wet my cheeks as I realise I’ve seen him for the last time. I thump the bed. It’s not fair.I fight sleep for as long as I can but tiredness eventually wins. My eyelids droop and I’ve no more strength to hold them open. “Beth? Are you getting up?”Sitting bolt upright, I gaze around. Oh my God! The walls are still papered with sunflowers and sunlight streams through the thin orange curtains. The envelope containing my ‘A’ level results sits on the vanity along with my handbag, yesterday’s clothes are crumpled on the floor. Christ, I’m still here.I clutch my head as my eighteen-year-old face. One night while Brit was over at Crystal's, Jeff lay in bed staring at the ceiling as he was wont to do these days. Allison knocked at the door and came in. He sat up, and she sat down on the bed next to him."How are you feeling?" she asked."About the same as before. I really don't feel anything right now." I know. Sometimes you go into kind of an emotional shock when you break off a relationship. The only comfort I can give you is to tell you that it doesn't last. Sometimes you need to just go out there and find someone else to love. In your case though, I still think you need to spend more time with Kari. I know she wants to help you through this more than anything."That brought up another thing that he had been thinking about lately."Allison," said Jeff, "I was wondering, Brit's about the same age as I was when you first started encouraging me to get a girlfriend. So why aren't you encouraging her to get a boyfriend?" I would think that would be obvious," Allison replied."Well,.
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