It had been a happy time. She thought about all that now as Bob proffered her a seat about halfway down the right side aisle. She tried to remember why she stopped going. It wasn’t because she’d stopped liking church. It was more because it was something her parents did, and she wanted to be grown up. She had wanted to become more independent. That was why she stopped going. Now here she was again. In a church with a man whose behavior was a cross somewhere between a caring reassuring suitor, and an overbearing beast. The very thought of what was happening this morning was somehow unnerving, then reassuring, and but terrifying all at the same time. Here she was reliving a time from her past she’d thought she’d put away. She was with the man she thought she was in love with. She was carrying his child, but she still wasn’t at all certain whether she and he had a future together. Carol looked over and up at Bob. He looked as nervous as she felt. She wondered what he was thinking. What. " Did they have guns?" Josiah asked."No. Well they had what sort of looked like guns, but I think they weretasers. And they carried clubs." The light turned green and weaccelerated. Nathan glanced at me again."Even though you are talking on the phone to each other, it's verynoisy. People are shouting, and everyone can hear everyone else. Thelanguage is horrible, not just vulgar and profane but continuallyblasphemous." Oh, Mama, don't go!" Elizabeth said, touching my shoulder.I could see from the tense expression on Nathan's face that he was asuncomfortable with me going into the visitation center as Elizabeth. Iknew, however, from our years of marriage that he would not forbid it.We both knew that we were a team. He knows that I depend upon hisstrength and leadership and provision. I know that he depends upon mygentleness with people and the insights into them that that gentlenesselicits."You said he was frightened?" I asked."Frightened and bruised and exhausted," Nathan.
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