The third stage is when you start to break out in a sweat. Your father was loud, pale, and sweating. He was also moving directly to stage four. Do you know what stage four is?”The kid shook his head and answered, “No.”“Barfing,” replied Ed. He took a sip of his Coke and saw that Sammy was nodding. He continued. “That’s right. Your father was about to barf right there in the middle of the restaurant.”“That’s no reason to kill him!” shouted Sammy. He knew all of that from what people had said in the restaurant about his father.Ed said, “Well, the last thing that I wanted was for him to barf right in front of my date. Nothing is worse than that on a date. I ran over to him and put my hand over his mouth. I picked him up by the back of the belt and carried him through the fire escape door. Now, I imagine that if you ask people about what happened that night, you probably have the story to that point.”Reaching for the Coke with a trembling hand, Sammy said, “Yes. I heard that you picked. I needed to respond to them, the silence was too long. They had taken my comment to heart, that they should be able to say anything and we would talk it out. They had done that and I could now see why it had taken some effort, they had taken a huge step in faith to bring to the surface the detail of their concern for me. Now, it was clear to me what they meant, ‘what will you do?’ It wasn’t just my emotional state or my possible loneliness; it was also my needs that they had identified. And, even if they didn’t know what to do about helping me with those needs, that part of my personality that needed to respond to direction and control, they went way out on a very flimsy limb to express their desire to do ANYTHING for me.Tears came to my eyes, again. Jeez, how many times is this going to happen with these three? They continue to bring this out of me. This time, though, it is not their sensitivity to my emotional needs and comfort. This time it is their willingness to take such a risk.
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