The 'bird' had just started on a slow cook in the largest oven in the house. Ellen also noted that most of us were so nervous we had little appetite. Because of Crystal being in the AA program we stuck to juices and soft drinks. Everybody stayed a subdued awaiting the 'Big Event' – Crystal's arrival. Fortunately, there was an exciting high school football game on the television, and that proved to be a convenient diversion for everyone to gather and talk about even though our minds were really elsewhere. Not surprisingly, the women congregated in the kitchen, and the guys in front of the TV set.Shortly after four p.m., Ellen used her iPhone to verify that Crystal's flight had landed.A little after five o'clock, I went out the front door and sat on the front millstone steps of our large home. One by one the others came out and sat with me until everyone in the house was outside. Ellen stood, walked the five paces down the walk into the driveway. She looked back at us all.Ellen put her. It was as if I had died instead: my head was fullof you, with no room left for me.Without thought I took my stale clothes off and left them in a loosepile on the floor. Using the cold water I had used to wash your body Ibathed myself, a half-conscious attempt to form a last bond with you.Shivering, I dried myself and then stood naked before what had been yourmirror. Not the best canvas, I thought, but it would do. I kneltbefore your box of clothes and selected those that had been yourfavourite: a red bustier with subtle glitter, a loose red and yellowpatterned gypsy skirt and your black leather boots. They did not fitwell. I am not a big man, but even the loose skirt of yours was tighton me. The boots pinched so much I could hardly walk. But comfortwasn't the object. If anyone had asked me what the object was I wouldnot have been able to verbalise it, but it was as clear in my mind asthe first light of creation.Clumsily, with no trace of your ease, I put on some makeup:.
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