I emailed 'Master' about 45 minutes. He seemed very interesting and nice by his emails. He sent me a question asking me if he could ask me a serious/honest question. And I said sure... 'Master' asked me if I had a r@p# fantasy. I was shocked! Sick! Sick bastard he was one of them. I wasn't going to email him anymore and delete and block him. First I responded NO! "Master' responded okay and that a lot of women had them and he just wanted to know. I told him he was lying. he just wanted to see if he could r@p# me and I told him I would NEVER meet him. I think I made him upset when he responded that he was just asking and I didn't have to reply like a bitch. Bitch? My whole body shook. I loved being called a bitch so much and it turned me on. I told him no I won't do that but was sorry for being rude in my response.'Master' said okay and asked if I had ever been helpless during sex or had a fantasy where I was. I told him NO! I do not like the idea of anyone r@p(ng me period. But as I. And three more times in bed before I could finally settle down to go to sleep.Diary, July 23, 2002This morning I opened my eyes to see the crystal dildo lying where I had left it. The sunlight was shining through it, casting a rainbow on the wall. The dildo itself had a green tint to it now. I also noticed that I was incredibly horny.But I refused to use it. Self control was something I prided myself in, but this morning, staring at that obscene thing, I just couldn't hold out. So instead, I reached down, determined to get myself off on my own. I played with my nipples and I rolled my hips into my hand. My eyes closed and I thought of George, I thought of this amazing blonde guy I had a one night stand with, and I even thought of Henry. All I succeeded in doing was getting myself aroused and frustrated.So I reached for the dildo, and when I placed my fingers on it everything was right with the world again. I couldn't explain it. I felt silly. And the crystal slid right in, like it was.
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