Kevin looked pleased but it would be a brave man (which I'm not) to insinuate that he couldn't be trusted. He looked like he ran through brick walls for fun every morning, with a face that had seen much mayhem judging by the scars it bore. Rumour had it that he had been thrown out of the French Foreign Legion for being too brutal and bloodthirsty.We never had any trouble in the pub since he had started working behind the bar. Not that he was belligerent or aggressive ; he just looked as if he could, and would, rip your head off if you gave him just cause.I bought a pint, and one for Kevin, and then glanced around the bar room. It was about 1.30pm and most of the lunch time drinkers had left. I rarely came in on a Tuesday - Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings were my prime cunt hunting times - this pub had a high incidence of available single girls on those evenings and I had enjoyed many a good night of bonking after being on a pussy hunt in this favourite pub of mine.It was then. What do you think? Take your time. But don't answer. Either removeall your clothes or leave. That will tell me what I need to know."I cast my eyes downward. I was remembering that time. I was rememberingA_. At that time, which now seemed so long ago, A_ was the most amazing,the most intense, the most alive woman to ever allow me into her life.While what I had said about being shamed was true, these other emotionswere also a big part of the mix. Then I had allowed myself to behumiliated. It was my choice.This was different. There was an element of powerlessness here. Myfeelings for Stephanie, while they had grown, had not begun in the sameimmediate fashion as they had begun with A_. And yet adding to thecomplexity of this moment was the real element of powerlessness withStephanie which was adding its own element to this emotional m?lange.I also had to factor in the possibility that she would not release metomorrow even if I submitted. That I still would have to wait forIlona's.
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