'Where are ye callin' from?'An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?''Just water, ' says the priest.The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?'The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it again!'Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, 'Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman.''Oh yeah?' said Charlie, 'And how did this one end?''When it was over, ' Mike replied, 'She came to me on her hands and knees.''Really, ' said Charles, 'Now that's a switch! What did she say?'She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.'Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen.He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs. "I know some of that. I told him that he needs to be more studenty." 'Studenty?' Where'd that come from?" Alan asked her."I suppose I made it up," Terri giggled. "It means acting in the fashion of a student." And 'studious' wouldn't work? It's a real word," her dad rebounded."No, Dad," she explained. "'Studious' carries a meaning of a student being more active in his studies. I think it applies to people who are only students. Jason's more than just a student, so he has both a student life and a working life, and he needs to be more studenty." Oh, I see," Alan said. "Is that a Cindy thing?"Terri gets this delightful look of exasperation sometimes. She used it on her dad. "No, Dad," she said patiently. "I came up with it by myself, although I'm sure it's been done before. I just never saw it."Now Mizz Beck's head popped in the door. "Now you see why Tina and I think she needs more campus time." I always wanted my daughter to go to college," Alan said."Of course you expected her to be.
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